…beating up five year olds.
Seasons Greetings !
…beating up five year olds.
Seasons Greetings !
Kurtis Blow – Christmas Rappin’ – 1980
Fat Boys – Stick ‘Em – 1984
Got nothing else to do tonight? Bored of the same old shit? Did you know the Beastie Boys are back doing their online radio show. Listen to it via the Little Radio website 21:00 – 23:00 GMT
It’s for winners !
In other news, have you seen this?!? Tell me it doesn’t look fucking aces!
If you’re on the lookout for an alternative to your shitbag commercial dance crap that’s clogging up both the analogue and digital spectrums you could worse than check out the Electronic Explorations podcast. It’s put together by my virtual friend and TMB mod, Rob Booth. In his own words, it’s a journey
“through electronic music’s hottest property, a deviously crafted patchwork of carefully sewn rhythms, sonic contortions and delicate melodies.
Dubstep, minimal electronica, techno and advanced soundscapes. Producers who rarely see the light of day, too busy in their own homes, making some of the most arresting, forward thinking and intelligent music.
If you like your music experimental, uncompromising, hand crafted and eerie, mathematical and heavy on the bass then look no further than Electronic Explorations
If you’re an admirer of records labels such as Planet Mu, DMZ, Tectonic, Hyperdub, Skull Disco, Tempa, M_Nus, Rephlex, Warp Records & Downwards to name but a few then you’re in for a real treat.”
Over the years I’ve amassed a fair amount of email addresses and with that comes a fair amount of spam. Normally, I’d let the spam filters pick these up and I don’t really bother with them but of late some of the ones I’ve received have been a tad, shall we say, odd…
Example No 1;
Sender : Antonio Stanford
Subject : Leather jacket Ice Snail Sphere Shower Vampire Hammer
What to make of that title? A cool looking Arctic inhabiting mollusc with a shower related vampiric threat complex?
Holidays are here and its time to Shop
We carry all types of gifts for You and Your Loved ones
Come Visit us now
Ahhhh, yes of course. Obvious really wasn’t it? So I braved the link and visited the website. No Vampires. No Snails. No Hammers. Just shitty replica watches. Crazy. False advertising if anything.
Example No 2;
Sender : peony karhu
Subject : ekilydal
Even better. Do I click on this or do I google it to see just what that subject means? Then it clicks. It’s ladylike backwards…. Sod it. Lets have a look anyway. It might be pr0n.
Few discuss? Not fucking surprised. Most if not all people don’t own dragons. They’re not even real.
Now for my favourite….
Example No 3;
Sender : Maynard Maloney
Subject : if you like cumming on tits, now you can smother her in your sperm which will be boosted by up to 500%! thats heaps.
Wow. Pretty forward in these emails aren’t they. Firstly, considering the majority of computer users are geeks they’ll be pretty smart when it comes to general arithmetic so there’s really no need to point out that 500% is heaps. That’s obvious. Secondly, the average volume of semen produced at ejaculation is 2 to 5ml. Multiply that by 500% gets you 25ml of semen. What woman wants nearly a 2 thirds of a can of Coke coming (no pun intended (well almost)) at her?
Delving further, according to the email “People judge your dick size by your shoes sizes. With Xtrasize+ you don’t have to wear bigger shoes to make women think you have a huge dick.” I must have missed that particular Sex Ed class at school. Not only that. If that was true, why don’t supermodels date Clowns?
Hang on… Pete Doherty anyone?
Spam. The new comedy.
What a sporting week this has been for our nation. The national football team are more than likely not going to qualify for Euro 2008 championships after strugging against “footballng superpower” Russia. The Rugby Union team struggle to overturn the Springboks and Lewis Hamilton’s chance of capturing the F1 crown in his first season slips away from him at the final race in Brazil. If you give a shit then you’re probably down in the dumps and could do with cheering up. You could do worse than check out Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job for a quick laugh. First brought to my attention by a Peter Serafainwicz interview for the Guardian in which he claims it to be “the funniest US comedy for years”. Not sure about that but it does have it’s moments of brilliance particularly Dr Steve Brule. You can catch it on Adult Swim here in the UK (late night on Bravo) or in the States (late night Cartoon Network). For those who cant be arsed to sit up and wait for this or dont have Sky, cable, etc, here’s the first episode.
Ahhh, Scarborough. Holiday destination of my youth. Nowadays a Max Power drag strip shouldered by failing arcades and dodgy fish and chips but still manages to attract the entire population of Yorkshire on a bank holiday. Famous for featuring in the film Little Voice, being the place where Anne Bronte died, having a castle that I’ve never been to and erm..erm..Peasholme Park where geeky model making fanatics re-enact the Battle of the River Plate throughout the summer. Now we can extend this exhaustive list even further as everyone’s favourite Chav rapper Devvo has filmed the video for his reggae tinged classic, Boys on the Beach, in Scarborough’s South Bay.
All together now ! “Wing Commander, get me a Stella….”