Monday, bloody Monday

Mondays are generally nothing to write home about. Judaeo-Christians say Sunday is the first day of the week but that’s nothing to celebrate either. Sunday is shit too as it’s just a build up Monday.

Once in a while though you have a Monday which is actually pretty decent. Work is a laugh, you manage to get off your arse and do some excercise to rid the Christmas pounds, you make yourself a really decent bit of scran for tea, and you find out that Jaime Lidell is back in the studio. A new video has surfaced on YouTube of him and his and his cohorts performing an untitled track.

If you’ve not heard Jamie’s stuff before I urge you to pick up his 2005 album Multiply. Hopefully with the promise of a new album comes the promise of live dates. I managed to see him at Glastonbury 2005 and he blew my wellies off and it would be great to see him again.

Another thing that has perked up my normally mundane Monday are Bag Raiders. Coming across like a less Gallic, (they’re Aussies after all) Daft Punk Justice Ratatat crossbreed, I hope they make an album as good as their Fun Punch EP.

Available to download at Juno. Just buy it alright. Go on. It’s cheaper than a pint FFS.

Saturday is Classic Saturday #4

This saturday calls for an absolute rare groove classic. Miracles by the Jackson Sisters from 1976. No relation to that scary Micheal bloke though. Available on the self titled album Jackson Sisters also released in 1976.

I make no apologies for the video, as there isn’t really one but who needs a video when the track is so good?

If you like this you should listen to Norman Jay’s Giant 45 show every Sunday 18:00 – 20:00 on BBC London. Don’t worry if you don’t live in London. As is the case with the majority of BBC shows there is an Listen Again option.

Big in 08?

As a child of the Eighties, Late of the Pier strike a chord in me somewhere. Already making waves in the music press, the only way is up. If you like your music with more than a hint of Gary Numan, Human League, (insert synth driven pop here), and more recently Klaxons you should dig em;

The Zarcorp Demo album has been put online.

Grab it and see what you think. Don’t know about you but it makes me want to break out the Atari !

If all that is a bit too Electro Boy for you, you could do worse than check one of the member’s “more dance” based side project, LA Priest. Do it. You’ve got sod all else to do for the next 10 minutes otherwise you wouldn’t be here would you.

A mention should also go to Friendly Fires. Coming across like a Rapture influenced Hot Chip produced by DFA, I fully expect this to dent the UK collective headspace via radio, TV, interwebs early next year.

Not sure about the going to Paris bit though… Yes it’s a lovely city but it’s full of the French ; )

Electronic Explorations

If you’re on the lookout for an alternative to your shitbag commercial dance crap that’s clogging up both the analogue and digital spectrums you could worse than check out the Electronic Explorations podcast. It’s put together by my virtual friend and TMB mod, Rob Booth. In his own words, it’s a journey

“through electronic music’s hottest property, a deviously crafted patchwork of carefully sewn rhythms, sonic contortions and delicate melodies.
Dubstep, minimal electronica, techno and advanced soundscapes. Producers who rarely see the light of day, too busy in their own homes, making some of the most arresting, forward thinking and intelligent music.

If you like your music experimental, uncompromising, hand crafted and eerie, mathematical and heavy on the bass then look no further than Electronic Explorations

If you’re an admirer of records labels such as Planet Mu, DMZ, Tectonic, Hyperdub, Skull Disco, Tempa, M_Nus, Rephlex, Warp Records & Downwards to name but a few then you’re in for a real treat.”

Grab it via the Electronic Explorations website or iTunes

Enjoy.

Spam Spam Spam and more Spam

Over the years I’ve amassed a fair amount of email addresses and with that comes a fair amount of spam. Normally, I’d let the spam filters pick these up and I don’t really bother with them but of late some of the ones I’ve received have been a tad, shall we say, odd…

Example No 1;

Sender : Antonio Stanford
Subject : Leather jacket Ice Snail Sphere Shower Vampire Hammer

What to make of that title? A cool looking Arctic inhabiting mollusc with a shower related vampiric threat complex?

Holidays are here and its time to Shop
We carry all types of gifts for You and Your Loved ones
Come Visit us now
http://bhk.vxtr.secognostobi.com

Ahhhh, yes of course. Obvious really wasn’t it? So I braved the link and visited the website. No Vampires. No Snails. No Hammers. Just shitty replica watches. Crazy. False advertising if anything.

Example No 2;

Sender : peony karhu
Subject : ekilydal

Even better. Do I click on this or do I google it to see just what that subject means? Then it clicks. It’s ladylike backwards…. Sod it. Lets have a look anyway. It might be pr0n.

Make your dragon loooooong and hard as a rock
asdfasdf sexton
http://www.fewdiscuss.com/

Few discuss? Not fucking surprised. Most if not all people don’t own dragons. They’re not even real.

Now for my favourite….

Example No 3;

Sender : Maynard Maloney
Subject : if you like cumming on tits, now you can smother her in your sperm which will be boosted by up to 500%! thats heaps.

Wow. Pretty forward in these emails aren’t they. Firstly, considering the majority of computer users are geeks they’ll be pretty smart when it comes to general arithmetic so there’s really no need to point out that 500% is heaps. That’s obvious. Secondly, the average volume of semen produced at ejaculation is 2 to 5ml. Multiply that by 500% gets you 25ml of semen. What woman wants nearly a 2 thirds of a can of Coke coming (no pun intended (well almost)) at her?

Delving further, according to the email “People judge your dick size by your shoes sizes. With Xtrasize+ you don’t have to wear bigger shoes to make women think you have a huge dick.” I must have missed that particular Sex Ed class at school. Not only that. If that was true, why don’t supermodels date Clowns?

Hang on… Pete Doherty anyone?

Spam. The new comedy.