Need Cheering Up?

What a sporting week this has been for our nation. The national football team are more than likely not going to qualify for Euro 2008 championships after strugging against “footballng superpower” Russia. The Rugby Union team struggle to overturn the Springboks and Lewis Hamilton’s chance of capturing the F1 crown in his first season slips away from him at the final race in Brazil. If you give a shit then you’re probably down in the dumps and could do with cheering up. You could do worse than check out Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job for a quick laugh. First brought to my attention by a Peter Serafainwicz interview for the Guardian in which he claims it to be “the funniest US comedy for years”. Not sure about that but it does have it’s moments of brilliance particularly Dr Steve Brule. You can catch it on Adult Swim here in the UK (late night on Bravo) or in the States (late night Cartoon Network). For those who cant be arsed to sit up and wait for this or dont have Sky, cable, etc, here’s the first episode.

Enjoy !

Boys on the Beach

Ahhh, Scarborough. Holiday destination of my youth. Nowadays a Max Power drag strip shouldered by failing arcades and dodgy fish and chips but still manages to attract the entire population of Yorkshire on a bank holiday. Famous for featuring in the film Little Voice, being the place where Anne Bronte died, having a castle that I’ve never been to and erm..erm..Peasholme Park where geeky model making fanatics re-enact the Battle of the River Plate throughout the summer. Now we can extend this exhaustive list even further as everyone’s favourite Chav rapper Devvo has filmed the video for his reggae tinged classic, Boys on the Beach, in Scarborough’s South Bay.

All together now ! “Wing Commander, get me a Stella….”

This weekend Matthew…

…I’m going to be a boring sod. Friday night rolls round and I am completely alcohol free. It’s not like I’m on call either it’s just that the thought of attempting today’s painting of the bedroom with a cloudy head means I avoid juice. So the two bottles of wine which are set aside for my consumption will have to wait. Painting and decorating means you have to have the windows open, either that or trip out, and with the open windows comes the annoyance of flies. Why cant flies “get” windows? They learn pretty sharpish how to scoff shit. You’d have thought they’d have grasped the concept of transparent materials by now.

Nice to see United at the top of the league for the first time this month and also nice to see that they have finally got round to scoring more than one goal in this afternoon’s 4-0 win over Wigan. To be honest I don’t care if they score one, four or 15 as long as the other side scores less.

Well, I can’t spend all day clogging the interweb pipes up with my ramblings for an audience of five. I’ve got painting to do so I can get pissed.

Not dead then?

I am well aware that the updates on this site have not occurred over the past month or so. Simple fact of the matter is that I’ve been busy soaking up the summer sun and having fun at birthdays and the such. Of course, this is absolute bullshit. We have had what must amount to a total of 3 weeks of sun this summer. People are claiming this is down to global warming. They may be on to something as the rain was most definitely warm as it soaked me through to the bone on my way into the office.

It’s not all bad though. The new football season is upon us and it’s turning out to be the strangest season in for a long time. City top the league, Owen is back fit only to find he now plays for a team which he doesn’t fit in to, my beloved United can’t seem to score any goals (not helped by an injured Rooney, banned Ronaldo and a non-match fit Tevez) and are floundering at 16th, and I’m doing shite in the Fantasy Football. Nothing new there though.

It’s nice to see that the Internet never changes and is full of the usual oddballs. My brother brought to my attention an internet star in the making but for all the wrong reasons. JonnyMas93 aka Jonathan Masongsong of New York City is my new You Tube star find. Here is Jonny entertaining the virtual masses with his rendition of James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful”;

I like to think the reason he keeps looking to the left is in fear of the man pointing a gun forcing him to sing this god awful song out of key. Either that or he is singing it to his sister with whom he is having an incestuous relationship with. Who knows…

At least it isn’t as bad as the version of Mika’s Grace Kelly Jonny and his friend have committed to film

Car crash viewing par excellence.

Farewell to a Fishman

If like me, give or take a few years away at higher education, you’ve spent pretty much all your life in Wakefield, you in time will have crossed paths with Smithy aka Supercockle aka Geoff the Fishman. Well, sad news is upon us. The fishy one has shuffled off this mortal coil. For years Geoff had trundled round Wakefield pubs and clubs in his Morris Minor selling Crabsticks, Prawn Cocktails, Peperamis, Cockles and Mussels to the drunken revellers who,after 5 or 6 pints, Geoff was a sight to behold. From having my parents manage pubs throughout Wakefield from 1980 until their Lupset swansong in 2006, Geoff has supplied me with many a late Kershaw’s fishfood supper since I was a wee nipper. He was an absolute star, a lovely bloke and will be sorely missed.

R.I.P Fishman

Whistle, Dead Diana, Diddy and Zelda

Have one listen to this and try not to whistle it all day;

It’s been going round and round in my head since DJ Yoda dropped it (like it was hot (c) Snoop) in his Glasto set. I mean really driving me mad. Akin to chinese water torture. Great track though.

In other news. I managed to endure all of 10 minutes of the 6 hour Sunday spoiling Concert for Diana. Would Princess Diana really be fan of Kanye West and P Diddy had she still been alive? I didnt catch the performance of the two myself but Holy Moly’s take on P Diddy’s last verse had me in stitches!
“And finally says possibly the crassest thing ever spoken on a stage:
So beautiful, so graceful, so elegant.
Princess Diana, we’ll never forget you.
Take me to the bridge.”

What a Cunt”

Holy Moly on top form as usual. Brilliantly scathing !

Also, it’s nice to see that Zelda: Ocarina of Time has been named the world’s best video game in a poll by Edge magazine. A true landmark in gaming. You can see the full list in “Edge Present: The 100 Best Videogames” on sale now. However, seeing as it costs a scandalous 10 (!) pounds you might just want to flick through it whilst in WHSmiths. Or just nick it off your mate.