Next up is 005 by Sega. 
Actually the next game should be (Medal) Yumefuda [BET] which WolfMame states “THIS GAME DOESN’T WORK. You won’t be able to make it work correctly. Don’t bother.
The colors are completely wrong.” but I did anyway and well they’re correct. Some mad Japanese headache inducing card thing. When I recovered from my fit and turned it off I started on 005. According to KLOV “you play a spy who must take a briefcase and successfully navigate past guards to get to a waiting helicopter. The guards pursue you into dark warehouses and skating rinks. Defeat them with gas canisters.” Twin Galaxies has 676,350 down as the MAME world record whilst the arcade record is 1,500,000 which Wikipedia claim to be the maximum score achievable. Hmmm. That’s some score then. Maybe I can get within touching distance of the MAME WR at least…
My character is dropped in to the first screen by a shitty looking helicopter at which point I pick up a suitcase and have to avoid the enemies who are rapidly advancing from the top of the screen. With little time to work out where to go or what to do I use the god awful controls and enter the nearest building which happens to be an ice rink. Enemies now come from the entrance and exit where a helicopter waits presumably for me to make my escape on. The enemies progress at such a speed I have to enter the ice to avoid them. Brilliant… Now on the ice the controls have gone from awful to ab-so-fucking-lutely dreadful. My enemies must have brought skates with them as they manage to capture me with ease and I lose my first life. I’m dropped back on the ice and can’t off the bloody stuff for love nor money. Eventually I manage to get off it without being killed. Not from skill I might add but sheer luck but then I am killed once more… I then begin outside the ice and can enter the helicopter with ease. Woo for me. Then I have to do the whole thing again. This isn’t fun. I then recall I have a gun of some sort so instead of entering a building lets shoot some bad guys. No non-violence stance from this kid. I take the first enemy down superbly only for him to become an immovable object in my path. At which point I’m killed as I can’t go anywhere. All three lifes gone and first WR attempt score is 5,900. Dogshit.
Next attempt I the enter alternative warehouse building instead. Somewhat easier, just avoid the flashlight beams. When they shine on my character he speeds up which begs the question why not be that fast all the time?! Anyhoo I manage to escape to the helicopter. Same thing again, only ice rinks this time. Captured due to immovable dead guy on ice. He’s on ice for fucksake. Surely he can move?! Now with one life left, I manage to traverse the ice and get in the helicopter. The next level and I’m in the helicopter. Trees to the left, right, and above, bombs from a helicopter above and what look like air balloons rising from the bottom. My guess is avoid everything till something good happens… Eventually the helicopter descends so I shoot it in it’s stupid helicopter face and voila “GREAT ESCAPE” and some bonus points later I have to do it all over again like Groundhog Day but one where Bill Murray has to play a shit game instead of sardonically read the weather . Attempt 2; 26,230. A quick check of the standings and if i submit this now I’ll be 9th in the world. I think I can do better…
Attempt 3; 26,390
Attempt 10; 44,180
This would put me at 6th. The fact that when you shoot the enemies is beginning to really get right on my tit ends. Shoot enough of them and you just can’t progress past a screen without dying. Unless I’m missing something this is a terrible design flaw and one which means I can’t take this game any longer.
Next up; 10-Yard Fight